The Invader Dee Saga: Invader Dee Returns
by The Corpse of One Legato
Summary: Dee, a three-year-old toddleIrk in Invader training, has been accidentally beamed to Earth. Can Zim take care of a smeet when he can barely take care of himself, or will she end up on Dib's autopsy table? Rewrite of DeadLegato's story, with permission.
1. Of Willow and Purple: Prologue to the Cr...

Well, it took me about… six months… but I'm finally over certain incidences in my life to begin fanfiction writing again.

This is a rewrite of the Invader Dee story. It's not plagiarism; I have permission of the original author to post this. 

I hope the story will be just as enjoyable the second time around. I almost rated it R, but then decided that after the kind of dark prologue, it's a pretty happy, non-offensive story. So if you don't like dark, just skip onto the second chapter. No scary stuff there. 

~Prologue~

3 years prior to the events that shall follow…

The heartbeat of Irk pounded loud, echoing off the metal walls and reverberating with the sound of steel. Now was the time of darkness, when all good Irkens were snuggled tight in their nests, protected from the unknown by the few unlucky guards assigned to the night shift.

The main door of the smeet-genetics lab slid open with the dry hiss of sterilized air escaping. The shadow of a curly-antennaed Irken stretched long and thing against the walls of the chamber. High-heeled boots echoed hollowly off the tiles as she slowly entered and advanced, her head held high in caution.

She jangled when she walked from rows of bangles hanging off either wrist, and another half-dozen bangles wound around her long neck. Her moderate stature was offset by the burning glow in her brilliant red eyes. 

She pushed her beautiful antennae back from the sides of her face as she stood beside a wall of small green canisters. The warming green glow of the security lights sent shadows flickering across her face as she reached out with long, thin fingers and entered a code as quietly as the beeping controls made possible.

The metal front covering on one cylinder slid open. Sliding a pair of purple nitrile gloves over her own black military gloves she pulled the cylinder free from the wall. It reflected her face in a distorted manner as she turned it over in her hands.

Her name was Willow, designation Willow One. Head female smeet engineer, entrusted with the genetics of more than millions. Entrusted with selecting from those genetics to create stronger, smarter, taller smeets. Smeets willing to grow to have only one goal: do or die for the Empire.

She placed the sample into an injection tube, hoping she'd done it right. Turning on the lights to check the configuration would have given her, and all the planning she'd done, away. 

The only way to save the Empire from its downward spiral was to destroy it within the parameters of its own system. That was why she found it necessary to steal the genetics of a tallest from the lab late at night. 

She lifted the needle up, admiring the glow of the sharp tip. She'd always appreciated how painful or painless the Empire's needles could be, depending on how deftly they were welded. In her capable hands, she could inflict shocks of pain or the gentleness of a butterfly kiss. 

She lay back on the table, holding the needle aimed directly at her vulnerability. Shuttering her eyes, she pressed down hard on the syringe. She winced as she felt the foreign DNA entering her body to join with the egg she'd cultivated and implanted within herself.

It was all for the good of Empire, she repeated once more in her mind as she slowly slid off the metal table. The empty genetics canister rolled across the floor. She started for the door, then paused. They'd know what she'd done, sure enough, but not until she'd escaped. It didn't matter if she left the trash on the floor or not…

She got as far as the doorframe before the "don't litter" part of her mind threatened to snap. She rushed back, grasping the canister and throwing it in a biohazard trash basket. Then, sighing in relief, she ran for the doors. Now, to get away from the Empire before anyone found out what she had done. She only had to make it to the docking bays and she'd be free to carry out her plans.

The doors snapped shut centimeters in front off her face. She collided with them, crying out in agony from the sudden impact. She fell backwards, lying on her side in the fetal position, nursing her bruised right arm. The lights flashed on an off in a brilliant display, like a strobe light. Sitting up and holding her injured eye, she watched without any hint of emotion as five guards entered the room, lasers drawn and aimed directly at her chest.

The red spots of the target aims danced across her chest and her forehead. She looked at the guards; they looked at her. She debated grabbing the flame-thrower off the wall and making a run for it, but she knew the chances of escaping from hundreds of guards with her life were virtually nil. 

"For a moment, I thought you'd repented. But you only went back to throw the trash away. You disappoint me, Willow," Raine, the only Irken in the smeet-engineering business who stood above her, commented dryly as he swept into the room, his antennae pressed back against his head in irritation.

"How long you been watching me, Raine?" she asked, crossing her legs and drawing them up so she could rest her arms on them. "And why didn't you stop me before I injected the genetics? You could have stopped me then."

"Before you did that, you were acting within your legal rights. You do work here, after all. But stealing genetics… and implanting them within yourself… Willow, what were you thinking? Are you trying to throw everything you've done out the window?"

She shrugged. "A life without taking chances ain't worth living. So you gonna shoot me or not?"

He shook his head slowly, his eyes hidden from her by shadows. She hated that. She couldn't read his expression and try to know what he was thinking. "Your skills and abilities are far too valuable to put a hole in your pretty little chest, and throwing you into space would kill the smeet as well, should you have had the devil's luck and succeeded in fertilizing one of your own eggs. No, I have a far more… special… punishment in mind for you."

"The embryo will be harvested from your body and grown in the nutrient chambers with the others. I know you suspected that much. But as for what will happen to you personally," he paused, then reached out and grabbed her curled antennae in his fist, admiring their smooth, even texture.

"You've always been vain, haven't you, my precious Willow? I think five years in suspended animation will teach you to think before you act."

She lunged forward, slamming the roundness of her skull directly into Raine's midsection. He fell backwards with a cry of surprise as the guards rushed forwards and restrained her arms behind her back. "So, your intention is to split my antennae? Dry out my skin? Steal the shine from my eyes. Take away my beauty, my vanity? I should have suspected you to do that, Raine. You can't stand anything beautiful that isn't yours."

He wiped a drop of saliva from the corner of his mouth, dislodged by the surprise of the impact. "When they take you out of the sleep chamber, you'll be lucky if a blind Irken considers you pretty." 

"Yes, I am vain, aren't I? But I'd rather be ugly on the outside than have an ugly soul like yours."

"Get her out of here!" Raine ordered, not looking at her face as she was dragged off. He didn't have to in order to know she was leering at him. Even caught and about to be punished by the loss of five years of her life and the source of her vanity, she still won. She always won. 

That, more than her elusive beauty, was the reason he hated her. 


	2. Invader Dee Arrives

The Present

Cronos threw a bundle of loose wires over his head. The bulky Irken panted slightly and swept the sweat from his brow. He lifted his green eyes upward and gave his partner, Abriam, the go symbol. Abriam, otherwise known as "Abba" to his friends, nodded and twisted the thick green dial that activated the light teleporter, shooting the wires off through space to their intended destination.

"Three day weekend coming up!" Abba called down to Cronos. Cronos lifted his arms in a salute that, to Irkens, meant "ALL RIGHT!"

In the hallway outside, Janis was wishing she could have a three-minute vacation. That was because one of her charges was currently hanging from the ceiling by one spider leg.

"Can't catch me!" Dee giggled, clamoring up over the pipes on tiny metal legs extended from a miniscule ID pack. The three-year-old toddleIrk was out of control again. It wasn't even like Janis could punish her once she caught her. She was the littlest and youngest smeet of Tallest Purple. One did not punish the smeet of a tallest if one wished to keep one's job as a smeet trainer.

If you asked Dee, however, she would have told you she was too cute to punish. Despite her famous genetics, she was the shortest smeet in her hatchling group. Her eyes were oversized for her face. They were a deep purple, darker than her paternal gene donor's eyes had been. They seemed to reflect everything in sight like a wide-angle mirror, creating a carnival mirror effect across her innocent face. 

Her curled antennae had been topped with light lavender bows at their bases. The bows matcher her eyes, but not the blue training uniform she wore. A yellow badge pinned on her chest identified her as a military trainee, potentially to become a future soldier or… if fate should happen to favor her… an Invader. 

The red-eyed Janis extended her mechanical legs and pursued her young charge. Hugging her stuffed Irken solider tighter, Dee skittered across the pipes, her small size allowing her to duck and dodge to make up for the fact that Janis was considerably faster than she was. 

"Pipe games!" Dee cried, taking a suicide-dive towards an open vent in the wall. Slipping easily inside she slid down the vents with a cry of "whee!" broken only by occasional yelps as she bounced over bolts in the system. 

"Dee, get back here!" Janis shouted, pounding on the ventilation shaft opening. There was no way she could fit in there!

"Dee got away again, huh teach?" a smeet commented, looking innocently up.

"She does that," another agreed, nodding slightly.

Janis sighed and slid down the wall. There wasn't a single day that she didn't thank the past tallests that there was only one Dee. She lifted her gloved wrist to her mouth, letting the communicator pop out of her glove. "Hey guys. Yeah, it's me again. Yeah, Dee's loose in the vents again." 

On the other end of the vent, Dee popped out only to find her little body dangling in midair as she clamped her legs onto an overhanging pipe. Below the metal crusher clamored loudly, turning scrap metal into scrap metal blocks. Dee studied it for a moment. "Looks like Janis eating," she said to no one in particular as she hefted herself and her stuffed Irken onto the pipes hanging overhead. Pretending she was a tightrope walker she stuck her arms straight out and padded along the pipe, completely oblivious to the fact that the thing only a few feet below her would grind her bones and body into Irken jelly should she happen to fall. 

She didn't notice one of the antennae bows flutter from her head and down into the jaws of the machine as she ducked through a hole in the walls cut to allow the pipes to travel from the crushing room into the teleportation room. 

Dee dropped down from the ceiling in front of a gigantic metal box. "Woooooow," she whispered, looking up and clutching her toy to her tiny chest. "I'm gonna 'splore the cave!" she cried happily, skipping into the box.

Seconds later, Cronos rounded the corner and slammed the lid of the box shut, hefting it up and over his shoulder. Inside, Dee cried out as she rolled from one end to the other. "Help, help!" she cried, pounding on the walls of the box. "Let me out of here!" No response from the outside. "I ORDER you to let me out of here!" Dee tried again, pressing on the lid with both her tiny fists.

Cronos paused for a moment to scratch him antennae. The sound of machines working in the teleportation room was deafening. He couldn't have heard a ship roaring through the room, let alone the cries of one tiny, frightened smeet. And from where he sat, Abba certainly had no idea of what the box contained.

"Throw it on that pile of stuff."

"There, that's all the trash. Are we sending it to Landfillia?" Cronos called back to Abba. The two Irkens weren't really talking; they'd merely become very good at lip reading in the deafening environment they worked in.

"Nah! Tallests want us to send it… to Zim!" Abba laughed as he turned the dials. In a brilliant flash of blue light the pile of trash vanished… along with little Dee.

~

On Earth, Zim's computer yawned. "Incoming transmission from the planet Irk. Prepare to receive," it said, sounding as bored as a computer possibly could. 

"Finally!" Zim cried, stretching his arms as he leaped out of his chair. "The shipment of parts for ZIM has arrived. Now I can begin carrying out my hideous plan with their hideous consequences!" 

The teleporter lit up as the pile of trash appeared in a flash of light pink light. Of course, Zim didn't see it as trash. His ruby eyes widened when he saw exactly how much he'd been sent, and took it as a sign that the tallests liked him… that they really liked him.

GIR wandered over after a few moments, attracted by the light flashing off the metal pieces as Zim neatly organized them on his shelves. Shiny things tended to attract GIR, after all. As he wandered past the box, he heard a muffled cry. 

"Please let me out of here!" a little female voice cried.

GIR's green eyes shone with bright curiosity. "Oooooh, Master, the box is taaalking to me."

"Not now GIR, I'm organizing the supplies."

GIR knocked on the box. The box knocked back, causing GIR to jump three feet back. He stared sideways at the box; in his opinion, the box stared back at him. Giggling, GIR started drumming out a melody on the box.

"GIR! Stop that noise!" Zim cried angrily, storming over and grabbing the robot by the antennae. 

"Please let me out," Dee cried, her voice muffled by the metal walls of the box. It was cold inside the box, and getting colder by the minute it seemed. Her tiny body shuddered as she hugged herself for warmth. Wet, blue tears were dripping down her face. "I promise I'll be good," she sniffled. "I'll even let Janis tell me what to do!" 

From ten feet away, Zim cautiously pushed aside the locks with a pole. After a few tries that resulted in merely rocking the box back and forth, he managed to pry the lid open.

Dee popped her head up, studying her rescuers intently. One was a short Irken with dark but shiny red eyes. He was dressed in the standard dark maroon and pink military uniform. Standing beside him was what appeared to be a little gray robot with cyan eyes wearing some kind of green hooded body suit. 

Dee crawled out of the box, brushing metal dust off her blue uniform. She could see great confusion in the stranger's eyes, perhaps she should introduce herself. "Hi!" she said brightly. "My name is Dee, Irken elite trainee!" With that, she attempted to salute Zim but ended up poking herself in the eye instead.

"I'm gonna play with the baby!" GIR cried, rushing Dee and lifting her up off the ground, spinning the tiny Irken around in circles. At first she was terrified, but once she was convinced the little robot wasn't going to crush her, she giggled and enjoyed the ride.

"GIR! Put that down! You don't know where it's been!"

"Sure I do, it's been in the box!" GIR cried, letting Dee put her boots back on the ground anyway. Dee studied the short Irken intently, drawing herself up to her full height… which, as pitiful as it is to say, was only about Zim's waist level. Thinking it might make her look at least a little bit taller, she stuck her antennae as high in the air as they'd go.

Zim dragged Dee down the halls of his base. "This has to be some mistake. I am ZIM, elite invader. Not ZIM, elite smeetsitter," he grumbled as he plopped Dee on the floor in front of his transmission screen. "You, stay there until I tell you otherwise," he ordered, glaring hatefully at her. Dee stuck out her lower lip and glared equally meanly back at him. 

Back on the Massive, Red leaned over Purple, his eyes intent on the other tallests' back. "That's it, that's it, just a little further, if you twist your back a little bit more… come on, push harder… I know you can do it…"

Purple turned around and glared through half-closed eyes at Red, holding out the palm-sized laser with an expression of disgust. "Next time you drop this thing down the floor vents, you get it yourself."

"Can I help it that your arms are thinner than mine?" Red asked innocently. "My hands wouldn't fit between the slots."

Purple looked down at his arms. "Yuck, I'm covered in dust! Disgusting dust that everyone else has touched!"

Red giggled, causing Purple to look up and glare sharply at him. "Oh, so you think it's funny that I got dirty reaching YOUR laser, do you? How would you like it if I wiped my hands on you, huh? Huh?" Purple asked, advancing on Red.

"Get away from me with your germs!" Red cried, floating off with Purple in hot pursuit.

Right when the monitor with the transmission from Zim flicked on, Purple had cornered Red and was angrily shouting "I'm gonna touch you! How do you like it when I poke you? Poke poke poke…!"

"My… tallests?" Zim asked after a pause. They both froze in place and slowly turned their heads towards the screen, in a scene highly reminiscent of The Exorcist.

"Yes, Zim?" they asked in complete unison. Shadows seemed to have appeared out of nowhere and covered their eyes.

"I think there's been a mistake in the latest shipment. I…"

"You're saying we made a mistake?" Purple asked.

"Are you accusing us of making a mistake?" Red cried.

Purple stared at Red. "I just… said that…"

"Yeah, but I said it better," Red answered, turning back to the screen. "Are you… _Zim?_" 

"No, my tallests, no, I would never imply that you, being so tall, would make a mistake and…"

"Then what's the problem, Zim? Is that shipment of supplies not good enough for you?"

"No, my tallests, the shipment was so amazing it was beyond words, but…"

"Then I don't see a problem, do you, Zim?"

"No, my tallests, but…"

"You'll take that shipment and like it!" Purple finally snapped. "And everything in it! It was just… meant for you."

"Everything in it?" Zim asked, his antennae drooping.

"Yes! Now if you'll excuse us, you interrupted a very important debate," Red said, snapping off the monitor.

When he turned around, Purple was busily wiping the dust off his arms and onto Red's back. "GERMS!" Red screamed, shooting off down the hallway with Purple still in pursuit.

Zim looked down at Dee, who looked up and stuck her little corkscrew tongue out at him. 


End file.
